Epic Fail.

Yall. I had what was maybe the worst and most embarrassing dance callback of my life last month.

To save myself from further embarrassment, I will leave names out of this, but I went into a dance call having done my research on the show, which at the time was new to me. I felt very confident going in as a dancer, mainly because it was very much a movement-based show from what I had seen. (I found the Broadway bootleg and did my research on the dance style. )

I went into the dance call and within the first 20 seconds of learning the combination, I knew this was gonna be… bad. Y’all ever been to one of those auditions? Where you thought it was going to be maybe challenging but manageable, and then you learn it and you are like…”If I could bury myself into the tiniest ball right now and slip away where noone would notice, that would be ideal right about now.” That was me.

Now, I am not sure if it was the lack of counts given, how fast the combo was taught, how long the combo was, or a combination of all those things, but when I tell you my brain shut all the way DOWN. I had felt fairly confident going into the audition at that point, but when I tell you my brain and body could not comprehend, much less keep up with what was happening.

I left that dance call feeling like I should never call myself a dancer ever again. I haven’t wanted to step foot in a dance call since then. I questioned if I should take actor/singer/ DANCER off of my resume and website.

I realized something though. Failing is okay. I won that day when I decided to stay in the room, not run away, and show up as best I could. Was it my best? Absolutely not. But you know what? I was invited to that dance call because I submitted the materials. I was in that room for a reason. At one point, the choreographer saw my mental struggle and reminded me that I was supposed to be there in that room.

We all have off days. We all have auditions that aren’t our personal best. We all have days we feel less then and questions our place within this industry.

I am here to remind you that no matter how long you have been in this business, sometimes it never gets any “easier”. You just have to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep on going.

XOXO,

Alyssa